How to deal with difficult changes in our life?
Changes are a huge part of our lives. Sometimes they occur naturally and sometimes we are forced to make them happen and at times they are difficult to deal with. Changes can also directly affect our mental well-being and our calm mindset. You may feel exhausted by all the rapid changes going on around you and feel helpless, these changes are hard to cope with.
On the other hand, we do plan some changes for ourselves; like your decision to move to a different place, going on vacation for distraction or create another income. These changes are the mindful result of a positive mindset and the need to pursue your happiness.
So, how do you deal with difficult changes in our life? It is knowing that it may be uncomfortable and being ok with it, whether it encompasses good feelings or not, there is a broken habit, worries, pattern, experience, or expectation that has stopped or has been modified. It is a standing position for you to decide whether it is good, bad, or neither. The challenge is accepting the change and perceiving the change as a part of a cycle, part of surrendering control, and part of allowing evolution in any stressful situations, aspect, situation, or relationship.
If we were to take change as a process, it would tell us that:
- There is a process in learning or developing in growth
- It’s natural, the world is orchestrated on change – seasons of the year, life and death
- The moment of creating is continuous whether by us or by groups of us
“Change is the only constant in life,” Greek Philosopher Heraclitus
This quote has lasted the test of time, from over 2,500 years ago, and is still relevant to modern life today by the pioneer writer Heraclitus.
The truth of the matter is that to live out a change in a healthy way, you will have to adapt a learning mindset.
We need to accept that even by minuscule increments, moment by moment change occurs in different dimensions and scales in our life. If we allow this to be the truth in our world we can easily cope with stress and feel comfortable in the uncomfortable of the new or the changed. We also need to accept that we, ourselves will change sooner or later, whether it be feelings, actions, situations, places, or things.
Changes have certain effects on us, and sometimes positive changes are pure attempts as coping strategies or stress-management for avoiding the real problem. Yes, you may be moving away to avoid an issue you don’t want to deal with, although that is not always the case.
Let’s go deeper…
Understanding and accepting difficult changes
Difficult changes are the ones that either happens due to unfavourable events or that you are driven into against your will. The first step to understand these changes, ask yourself:
- How has this particular change affected me?
- How does this change make me feel?
- Why do you think it happened?
- Am I blaming myself for its occurrence?
Once you understand how the particular change makes you feel, you will find it easier to accept it and deal with it. The best way to deal with change without panic and feeling stressed is to seek out the positive aspects and benefits that are or can be achieved moving forward in the future. These changes can also include changes that occurred with you physically or spiritually.
Preparing to make changes in your life
Sometimes you may feel stuck in a certain situation, feeling frustration and chronic stress, and the only way to get out of it is to make a significant change, however big changes tend to shift the course of our lives and require courage. If you feel stuck and are considering a change, you can start by;
Step 1: Figuring out if you need a change
Ask yourself the following questions:
- How does my current situation make me feel and what do I want to feel?
- What activities do I know will get me to achieve my desired outcomes?
- Have I been stagnant (in career, creativity or relationships) if so, what are my passions/goals?
- How will the said change, change my life for the better?
- Am I making this change to run away from the real problem?
Answering these questions will help you decide whether a change is necessary or not. Remember to answer truthfully and not use them as an excuse to procrastinate the change you should be making.
Step 2: Prepare yourself
You must prepare yourself before doing anything important in life. Have faith in your choices and believe in your ability.
Affirmations to support you in your way of thinking:
- I handle all change that comes my way with grace and ease
- I accept change as a positive force in life
- I am open to new ways of doing things
Changes require getting used to. Any change will require both physical and emotional effort.
If you are moving to a new place, starting a new job or pursuing a new passion, prepare yourself for a little disappointment at the start but remember to be determined in achieving the goal, not necessarily to the exact desired path but towards the end goal.
Step 3: Ask for help
Everything is easier if you have a support system to rely on. If you think this is difficult, then talk to a friend or people who you feel are genuinely looking out for you. Or seek professional groups and communities that offer support.
Most of the time the change is new. You shouldn’t feel shame in receiving help and learning what you don’t know from others to manage your stress and alleviate your negative emotions. It’s NEW! And having the right kind of support can make any type of change easier.
Change and motivation go hand in hand
If you find yourself falling into old patterns and feeling anger, despair, overwhelmed, or pessimism, try to slow down and reflect on the events, feelings, and thoughts that preceded the moment. Is there something about the change process that you did not anticipate? Something you didn’t know how to handle? Bumps in the road require self-reflection and a return to planning for next steps with hopefully increased awareness. Making changes for the long haul requires fine-tuned attention to your internal motivation.
Difficult Changes in our life comes in different shapes and sizes whether you wanted it, or it is given to you. Being able to be resolute in yourself and on your own, determines how you can embrace change to a positive outlook and meet your end goal.
I am here if you want a helping hand throughout this change, book a session with me and let’s ensure the path to your success is fulfilled.