Who is the Big Bully?
Bullying is more than just any negative impact. It involves a particular kind of harm. It is aimed at engendering a kind of helplessness, an inability to act or to do anything good upon yourself. Bullying is repeated aggression, verbal, psychological or physical conduct by an individual. Some years ago many people thought of bullying as exclusively physical in nature. Now it is widely recognised that most bullying is verbal, and a good deal of bullying is indirect and can be in deliberately excluding people.
Have you ever taken a moment to consider that by dimming down your expressions, you are actually bullying yourself?
How many times have you wanted to do something, but you were routed by fear? You thought of doing something great for yourself, but you were plagued with doubt – Self Doubt.
There are a lot of things we must consider in the aspect of bullying ourselves. You may think to yourself “I see myself as a kind person so therefore how I’m not kind to myself and bully myself?”.
We all have an inner critic which has been there to weigh in all our ideas. If we are not aware and are led by this inner critic, we will lack the intent to follow our dreams.
Any negative past experience in life always finds it’s way to influence our life choices, and this is the root of our inner critic. It is based upon information surrounding the environment and past connections with others. Even when we are on the edge to take that unknown step of doing something great for our lives, it begins to remember a catalogue of thoughts for dismissals and you develop fear in your system in which you are unable to continue taking that path. Due to that, we don’t see any improvements in our life, feeling stuck unhappy and stagnant. This practice is called Self-inflicted bullying.
When you decide to lead and talk to yourself differently, your brain starts to create new patterns, and in this case, replaces the negative ones with more positive patterns.
Acknowledge, and train your mind to know All is possible! The part of you that knows this is your heart, your heart that never gets to speak louder than your mind but is always certain and gives you the sensation when something feels right and feels wrong.
Cut the rope and detach from your past experience of trials or anyone expressing that, you can not fulfil your goals NOW.
“Your existence is necessary by virtue you are here Now.” Vanessa Robins
You may ask how do I create positive patterns and eliminate the triggers that lead to self-doubt?
You can be using positive affirmations and positive self -talk when negative patterns began to emerge. You should immediately shift the dialogue and continue to repeat the positive affirmations until you sound natural. Sounds willy nilly, and actually, it is… though it costs you nothing to practice!
You can make your dreams happen for you, whether it is for better health, improve relationships, abundance, wealth, educational, academic excellence, job promotion, new career etc by putting one foot in front of the other. Have your vision and just take one step at a time to fulfil the process of living that goal? Your past experience should not dictate how the rest of your life should be.
Wake up in the mirror and say that, I live by the potential within me!
Ignite the fire!
These are some simple mechanism that you can consider to break the chains of bullying yourself.
Challenge unhelpful messages.
If you notice yourself using unhealthy self-talk, you can change it by reacting to it in the moment you experience it or by reflecting on it later. Here are some powerful strategies to end irrational self-talk.
- Evaluate its credibility.
Healthy self-talk is based on reality and positive things, unhealthy self-talk distorts it and makes you depressed. Whether it exaggerates the consequences of your actions or claims to know others’ opinions about you, unhealthy self-talk triggers real emotions with unrealistic, or irrational, statements. To overcome it, listen to your self-talk. Most of us talk to ourselves – narrating our successes and failures – all day long. Self-talk is usually internal and automatic. We’re often not even aware that it’s going on at all, that makes self-talk powerful. Part of the change is how you view yourself without being pessimistic.
Change the conversation. It won’t be good-enough for you to tell your critic to shut up. You have to start replacing the negative thinking and things you are saying about yourself with positive thought, thus it will reduce stress. This is the starting process to cope with changing your mindset and you will realize the power of positive thinking through self-talk.
A practice that has a variety of positive thinking ways for you to explore, be playful! This will enable you the room, to create distance from the inner critic, give yourself space to know and choose the thoughts positively which give you more of what you want. You will develop a positive mental attitude by staying positive through this practice.
It will take some practice but if you work at it, you will make progress and you will not only improve your self image but will also increase low self-esteem. You may find yourself saying some of the same (old/negative) anxious things or negativity over again that you’ve said in the past but you will be optimistic, constructive and you will consciously enhance your self worth. That’s okay. The mantra to follow is, ‘The goal is not perfection; the goal is progress and be happy’. To witness your progression, notice how much more supportive the voice in your head is to you, a sign of optimism.